ebontane

Jon Stewart called the WHAAAAAAMBULANCE for Fox News.

I've wanted someone to do that for ages.

Also, England better not win the cricket.

First heatwaves, then bushfires (golly gosh, wouldn't have foreseen that as a consequence of heatwaves + dickheads + matches), then windstorms, now earthquakes.

I'd say locusts were next, 'cept we already have them.

Today was like sitting in front of a hair dryer. Set on hot.

Well, it wasn't like that inside, but that's only because of the walls, hence no hair dryer effect. It was still pretty damn hot. But then I went out. Needed some rice noodles. Which involved going up to the supermarket. At first I was like "yay, air-conditioned car!", but eventually I had to get out of the car.

It was like walking onto a baking sheet left in full sun. In essence, that's exactly what it was. It was fifty metres from the car to the entrance of the shopping centre, and that was more or less all I could stand.

Dad told me the difference between Adelaide/current Melbourne weather and Washington DC was the difference between being baked and being slow boiled.

And another thing. On the radio, all we heard on the way up was how bad the fires were. The CFA's not on the ground near some of them, because it's too dangerous. At a guess, if it's too dangerous for the CFA, it's pretty fucking dangerous. One of my aunts is getting embers in her yard. One of my uncles has sent his wife and kids into town and is busy hosing down his house and garden. The ABC reporter was on a helicopter about five metres away from the fire (presumably in a direction they were absolutely sure the fire wouldn't go), and struggled a bit to describe what she saw. "Well, shit," probably didn't cover it.

But hey, the cool change is through here, finally. And that's like heaven, at the moment.

Hey, I finally got round to doing a meme! And it's book-related! Hooray!

The Rules:
1) Look at the list and BOLD those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Put # by the books you HATE.
5) Post.

( I wonder how many of these are in Angus & Robertson's Top 100... )

It might not be terribly fashionable to admit to this, but I've watched an awful lot of sport in the last fortnight. You can't play everything, you can't read everything (much to my regret) but you can sure as hell listen to people talk about what they've played and/or read. And after sixteen days, a few litres of coffee, and many many wasted hours, the Olympics are nearly over.

It's been pretty good.( tl;dr: The Olympics both rocked and sucked, and had spots of crazy. )

Final notes. We won a diving gold. Wow. Uh, that was unexpected. But that was a totally kickass dive. The British Olympic Committee, possibly in retaliation for the AOC guy's comment about the British lacking soap, have made it a priority to "piss on Sydney" when it's their turn to host.

And now I have nothing to watch during the day.

So, one of my sister's (creepier) friends got her a copy of Twilight and a bottle of vodka. What with her being a teetotaler, she handed the bottle to me.

When I decided to read the book as well, I realised just how necessary that bottle was.

( Glug glug glug )

I'm off to get that vodka again.

Wow, been a while since I posted.

So have a snide piece of writing. (Also, I do like poetry. Really.)

( On writing poetry )

Hi, all. Long time no update.

So, anyway, I was writing out a plan for my politics essay. This is...not quite what I was supposed to be writing.

( Essay plan parody )

And yes, I did get the politics essay planned out properly first.

Sort of.

For only the second time, I am posting a story here. This time it's Bleach.

Oh, and you won't really know what's going on unless you're reasonably up to date with the manga. At least at the beginning of the Hueco Mundo arc.

( Grounded )

And there you have it. Work on my TT parody is in progress. Very slow progress.

Hello again, all. I finally finished the FOTR parody. I haven't started on the TT bit, so that'll be a while. But I'm getting there. Slowly.

( The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring )

That is all, for now. I doubt I'll have the next half up for a week or so.

Hello, people. Since I've been sick I haven't done any work on it. In fact, I'm only halfway through FOTR. But I thought you might like to see what I have anyway.

( The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring )

There you go. With any luck, the next part will be up fairly soon. I've got a significant chunk of it written.

I found some of my notes! They were in my lit folder. Go figure.

( More fragments of the MARKET Bible )

Thank you. Now I just have to find the Fall of Man bit, and the Christmas story. And I recall planning Job and Sodom and Gomorrah as well, but I can't seem to find them. Ah well.

Well, you guys said I should write fic. Here's some fic for you. Except it's FFVII, so Cathy and Sabine will just have to wait until I write something they find amusing. Or scroll down to the MARKET Bible.

Inspired by a thread on fanficrants, more specifically by caius_serence and byakuganchick, whose comments I have borrowed.

( Mistrial )

Y'know, this is rather fun...but I like parodies better.

Hello, all. I found a part of my MARKET Bible notes while cleaning out my room, and decided to post them. As I find other fragments (or rewrite them, which I don't want to have to do) I'll post them here.

DISCLAIMER: These are not my politics. This is not my religion.

And this Bible is for Sabine.

( A Fragment of the New Testament of the MARKET Bible )

I'm sure the Genesis part is on my desk...

Hello, all. This time I have the formula for an episode of House for you.

( House- formula for an episode )

I am currently working on the LOTR parody. Might take a while.

Hey, all- I reposted this because the corrections I made to the parody just weren't showing up. You can't have a Snow White story without the apple, after all.

( Snow White and the Seven Dwarves )

Okay, now this time I KNOW it's fixed. *glares at lj*

I went to see it again yesterday. Hey, dad was paying, and cinemas are airconditioned, so I wasn't going to say no. It's incredible how much there is to make fun of in a movie that's only half dialogue.

( Casino Royale )

It looks long, but the lines are short. I promise.

And here is the third part of the modern series. Ah, so much to mock.

( Episode Three: Revenge of the Sith )

And the end of this. Until I get any ideas about the older trilogy.

This one is also old. Enough said.

( Episode Two: Attack of the Clones )

Just be glad Lucas didn't write the dialogue for this overlong production.

For the record- I like the older movies much better. But the new ones are so much easier to mock.

This is a parody I wrote just after exams when I was still getting used to not having anything to do.

( Episode I: The Phantom Menace )

Yeah, another long one.