?

Log in

Twilight

« previous entry | next entry »
Aug. 12th, 2008 | 01:32 pm
location: Rapidly leaving Forks, Washington
music: Australian national anthem- stop playing the fucking medal ceremonies!

So, one of my sister's (creepier) friends got her a copy of Twilight and a bottle of vodka. What with her being a teetotaler, she handed the bottle to me.

When I decided to read the book as well, I realised just how necessary that bottle was.



Let me put it this way: I'm 132 pages through the book and have yet to see a redeeming feature of the main character. Of any kind. I'm 132 pages through the book, and have yet to find anything even vaguely interesting about the male lead. I'm 132 pages through the book, and can't find anything particularly good about the writing.

And may I say, the main character is a heinous bitch. It's not that she doesn't think about other people, because she does. She thinks about them, and then decides that no, she's far more important than those minor character plebes. I'm not even going to get into what an outrageous Mary Sue she is.

As for the male lead, he's handsome. That's all we hear. Handsome, and apparently hormonal. Hormonal =/= mysteriously angsty. Fail.

Oh no wait. Scintillating, incandescent, perfect, sculpted, angular, sparkling, heady, sweet, entrancing, beautiful, masculine...have I missed any adjectives?

Minor character Mike, I do pity you. You can do far better. As can you, Extra Eric and Tyler Sidelined.

The misogyny, or (and this is the most flattering term I can use) sexism of this book is also astounding. I thought women swooning at the sight of blood and having to be carried over-the-threshold style to the doctor was soooooo 1900s. 1950s at latest. You just sit right there, main character. Someday your prince perfectscintillatingincandescentstalker boyfriend will come!

And to think I was promised hysterical train wrecks and sparkly vampires. Pah.



I'm off to get that vodka again.

Link | Leave a comment | Share

Comments {8}

Merc

(no subject)

from: eatsyourface
date: Aug. 12th, 2008 04:21 am (UTC)
Link

The trainwrecks ARE hysterical. XD

Reply | Thread

ebontane

(no subject)

from: ebontane
date: Aug. 12th, 2008 01:48 pm (UTC)
Link

When a freeway bridge falls on top of them. Or a tank armoured personnel carrier runs over them. Oh well, the more carnage the better!

Reply | Parent | Thread

korigatachi

(no subject)

from: korigatachi
date: Aug. 13th, 2008 10:30 am (UTC)
Link

Or when the train derails over a hill, crashes into a cliff, flips over and consequently lands on the rails of the overhead bridge. Impossible? Apparently not. It's EPIC FAIL. And so is Twilight by the sound of it.

Reply | Parent | Thread

ebontane

(no subject)

from: ebontane
date: Aug. 14th, 2008 01:01 am (UTC)
Link

Here's more or less how it was described to me: imagine a train wreck on a freeway overpass. Now imagine the overpass collapses into the ocean, and the navy's heading towards the wreck at full speed. And then add a couple of 747s crashing down on the hole mess. Then completely disregard the logistical impossibilities.

Yeah, I was told that's not as much of a disaster as Twilight.

Reply | Parent | Thread

(no subject)

from: non_air
date: Aug. 12th, 2008 11:38 am (UTC)
Link

How much of the vodka is left?

And did you know that the creepy friend has a gf now? Who is failing out of year 11?

Admire my shiny new icon!

Reply | Thread

ebontane

(no subject)

from: ebontane
date: Aug. 12th, 2008 01:47 pm (UTC)
Link

Half bottle, how the hell, and oooh shiny.

Not as shiny as Edward.

Reply | Parent | Thread

(no subject)

from: non_air
date: Aug. 13th, 2008 08:32 am (UTC)
Link

I think she's blind, deaf and mad. Honestly, I have no idea how he managed it, because she's apparently really nice. Possibly too nice if she's agreed to go out with him.

And when I read Edward, I thought Elric. *headdesk*

Reply | Parent | Thread

heathen_appeal

(no subject)

from: heathen_appeal
date: Aug. 21st, 2008 07:34 am (UTC)
Link

I also find that rather creepy. He was all moody today because she took his iPod without him approving, in between that and making fun of my boyfriend being gay. What a fucker.

Reply | Parent | Thread