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The Sporting Armchair Expert Life

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Aug. 24th, 2008 | 12:15 pm
music: Volleyball: Russia v. Italy

It might not be terribly fashionable to admit to this, but I've watched an awful lot of sport in the last fortnight. You can't play everything, you can't read everything (much to my regret) but you can sure as hell listen to people talk about what they've played and/or read. And after sixteen days, a few litres of coffee, and many many wasted hours, the Olympics are nearly over.

It's been pretty good.

The swimming was pretty dull, as it usually is- I just can't get enthusiastic about it. I'm probably a traitor to my nation. Additionally, I can't buy into the Phelps-mania, for the same reason I can't get enthusiastic about watching Federer play tennis. It's boring. The conclusion is foregone. It's simultaneously the pinnacle of achievement and defeats the entire purpose of competition. No thanks, I'll just switch over to SBS and watch the handball. (But not the soccer, because I find that even more tedious.)

The kayaking was surprisingly entertaining, awful commentary aside. "She dropped into the STIR FRY! AWWWWW SHE TIPPED OVER WILL SHE RIGHT HERSELF IN TIME". Shouting =/= good call. Also, they called the little gate-things "stir fry", "hidden dragon", "yum cha" (and as a side note, boy was "yum cha" abused over the course of this Olympics). The guy from Togo totally made my week when he won his bronze medal. I don't think I saw anyone so happy when they won their medal, let alone a bronze. Except maybe the silver medallist in the 100m men's track. "WHOOOO I CAME SECOND TO USAIN BOLT!"

The silver medallist in the marathon was also pretty cool. The leader upped the pace, he sighed and went with it. Upped the pace again, he kept going. And going and going. Thirty-six years old, obviously in severe pain, but he kept at it. (On that note, damn I'm amazed anyone bothers with that event.)

Lowlights? Beach volleyball. Misty-May. They always had to say Misty-May. If it's her full first name...I'm not going to insult it further. If "May" is her middle name, well, I wish the commentators would just drop it. The alliteration's only cute once. Gideon Haigh (as usual) was a bit of a snarky bastard about it: "They seemed to be trying to be obnoxious on every possible level", referring to their dedication of their gold medal to Dubya. Australian men's hockey and women's basketball. It's not that they didn't win that bothers me, it's that they played crap.

And the admin. It's always the admin. Allegations that at least one member of the Chinese gymnastics team was underage. Ukrainian athletes on drugs. Greek athletes on drugs. Spanish cyclist on drugs. At least the tests at the events are working, if not the prevention measures.

And my favourite moment of complete batshit insanity? Cuban taekwondo guy. Who lost the match on a technicality (couldn't recover from a minor foot injury quickly enough, ref duly called the match to Kazakstan) and flipped the fuck out. Words were exchanged. Then the Cuban proved his foot was in perfect working order by kicking the referee. And some of the officials who tried to pull him off the referee. Yeah, he (and his coach) got slapped with a lifetime ban quicksmart. And I believe his coach is now "being investigated by Chinese officials". Ahaha.



Final notes. We won a diving gold. Wow. Uh, that was unexpected. But that was a totally kickass dive. The British Olympic Committee, possibly in retaliation for the AOC guy's comment about the British lacking soap, have made it a priority to "piss on Sydney" when it's their turn to host.

And now I have nothing to watch during the day.

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Comments {4}

korigatachi

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from: korigatachi
date: Aug. 24th, 2008 03:28 am (UTC)
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Agreed. Kayaking was possibly more confusing with 'stirfry' gates, 'hidden dragon' whirlpools and all the other references to Chinese words that everyone knows (if they didn't then, they do now). I'm surprised they didn't include 'spring roll', 'egg tart' and 'crouching tiger'. The such and such synchronised swimming team has always had fabulous creative, and uh! Wonderful stuff there. Excellent move there, very solid and has good height. I call that the Spring Roll...
I really enjoyed the handball too. Since when was it an Olympic event?
Judo. Now that was a waste of time. I wish they had explained the rules. From what I gathered, judo is about showing the your opponent up with prescribed judo moves.... but that doesn't seem to be the case, as the only move that I thought would be awarded a point (think classical throw, german suplux, whatever it is called) didn't get a point after all... so maybe the judges award points whenever they feel like it.
Without the Olympics, it's back to daytime soaps.

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ebontane

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from: ebontane
date: Aug. 24th, 2008 11:10 pm (UTC)
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Nonono, see, "spring roll", "egg tart" and "crouching tiger" were all jumps in the equestrian event! Well, they probably were. "Green avocado" certainly was.

Judo I don't get. Looks like a bunch of shoving to me. And did you see the spectacular faceplant in the American synchronised swimming?

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korigatachi

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from: korigatachi
date: Aug. 25th, 2008 07:46 am (UTC)
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No, I missed the faceplant in American synchronised swimming. Only got the Australian team, and Russian. I also missed the neckfall in gymnastics. Oh woe.
i can understand 'crouching tiger' in equestrian, and it amuses me to think that a horse is crouching... like a cat. The horse is a predatory species, which lies in wait with its hind legs ready to spring. Ah! The perfect moment; the mouse unaware of the horse. There he goes! Crouching Tiger move is go! Yes, David Attenbourough will one day say "something something is go!".
What would the Spring Roll and Egg Tart look like? Spring Roll = more of a gallop? and Egg Tart as those series of sidesteps?

..... What was the Green Avocado? or testicle fruit as it were. ....Coathangers, pregancy test pack, chips and avocados! It's a party!

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Rae

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from: ravenna_
date: Aug. 26th, 2008 05:04 am (UTC)
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I can't believe I missed the diving gold, and then the diving gold replays -_-

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